You only feel the pain and see the trouble now but when you step back and think of your hurts in a different light, you’ll find yourself “shine bright like a diamond” – Flaring Felicity.
I have a friend who recently shared with me how his previous relationships had hurt him, to the point that he wants to draw back from communicating with girls. He is kind and caring, and often he feels that this attribute is being abused. “I want to be the cold hearted, self-centered and insensitive guy this time,” he shares. And he claims this new guy to be a better version of himself.
I feel bad that there are certain people who doesn’t know a gem when they see one. I disagree with my friend that he needs to become a totally different person to be better. He is already special in his own rights and his so called “version 2.0” for me would seem like a cover-up – a means for self-protection. There must be another way to evade the unnecessary pains, I guess. Perhaps he is addressing the wrong problem to begin with.
“You can’t avoid pain in life.” An older guy friend once encouraged me to be braver and take risks. He said that fear of pain can become obstacles to our goals, but on the other hand, you can use it as a driving force to to move you closer to what you want to achieve. That spells out two kinds of fear, one which is bad and one which brings out the good. Even in the Bible, there is a certain kind of fear that leads to wisdom (Proverbs 9:10) and that is the kind of fear that we can allow to grow in our hearts.
The metaphor of the diamond seems “overused” but can be very helpful when we recognize how we can practically use the wisdom in it. A diamond is formed and chiseled with time, heat, and pressure and this process requires yielding than resisting or moving. When we allow ourselves to be broken, that is the time we shine more – not by doing but by being. Just be.
My friend’s story, even if he didn’t achieve his new version yet, “shined” for me. He already blessed me just by sharing what he is going through! It inspired and challenged me to actually improve myself and take care of my relationships, because I also want the best me to come out of my imperfection.
Yes, it may require some time for distance, self-reflection, letting go, and learning to master your fears. Just a note, I believe we all are diamonds and we just need to shine brighter each day.
You take imperfect away, leave all that’s good in place.. And it’s all right. Yeah it’s all right – Diamond by Jaci Velasquez