I have a confession to make. I tried something new and I had so much fun :D.
When I told my friends that I’m joining a speed dating event, I got two different reactions. There were those who are scared (or rather concerned) for me and checked my level of desperation. And there were those who are excited, even suggesting what I would wear, including my hairstyle and make-up.
Well, my photo up there shows that I was convinced by the second reaction and really went for it. If you’re a traditional Filipina like me (yes I am one) who may be thinking if this type of event is for you or not, I have a few advice you may consider. And if you’re an adventurous gentleman trying to find your soul mate, something in this post may be useful for you as well.
First, you have to know your why.
Those whom you will meet has their own reasons for going to a speed dating event, and that motivation will most likely be felt in your conversations. There are some who wants to just try new things and socialize. Others are in search for long term relationships.
When I went to the event, I had a mindset that I will go there to improve how I socially interact with the opposite gender. My line of work is in Marketing and I meet a lot of people but negotiating for business has a different dynamic than dating. The challenge for me is not actually stepping up from being shy but toning myself down a little bit. I usually “mean business” with guys. Well, if you’re a career woman, you know what I mean.
I’m also open to the possibility that meeting the person whom I’ll choose to love may also require me to step outside my comfort zone. Note however, that even if we stepped out of our comfort zones, we should still be within our personal boundaries and not compromise our values.
Second, know what you’re looking for.
The search for “the one”, even in real life, would be easier if you know what you want.
In the speed dating event I attended, we are given only 5 minutes to speak with each of the guys. By that time, I should decide if the person whom I just had a conversation with is someone I’d like to keep as “potential match” or not. At the end of the night, you will only find “a match” if the persons you selected (more than one is allowed) liked you back.
Your potential match will also capture who you are in a limited time if you are well defined and have a clear thought of what you want. And that should be the main purpose of the conversation – communicate who you are, listen to what he says about himself and see if you connect.
Just a tip, connection doesn’t have to be too much of an effort. It’s just there if the two of you click. Different from the business meetings I usually have, I didn’t implement any strategy that night. I just went with the flow.
Last, not everyone will like you.
Dating is not a game of numbers. There are girls and guys who easily attracts admirers and are easy to get along with. But in reality, we don’t have to be like them because we don’t need everyone to like us. Come to think of it, keeping the lines long and not filtering whom you’d let into your life could be a waste of time.
People who will only be drawn to you are those who are meant to appreciate your mold. No matter how we make ourselves shine, only eyes who are trained to see real value will stop and take a look. And people have different sets of values, and gets attracted with different attributes physically or emotionally. But values, at least, has to match for any relationship to last.
So did I get a match? Yes, but not as many as I expected. (I guess I’m too confident of my gorgeousness.)
Do my matches have similarities? Absolutely. They all have almond eyes! May have resulted from the magic of knowing what you want.
Will you recommend readers to attend a speed dating event? Yes, only if it’s managed by a professional event organizer in a fun and wholesome way!
Let me introduce you to Sam and Nicole of Date Unlimited, Inc. They’re the organizers a.k.a “matchmakers” of the Speed Dating event I attended. They’ve conducted the event I’ve been to with good taste. I must say there’s also a balanced mix of different personalities among the participants. Wait, should I mention meeting a handful of engineers, a couple of business men, HR practitioners and some IT professionals? This can be your source of a good catch 😉
They have an upcoming event this September, and maybe you can start asking yourself “Will I Join A Speed Dating event?” and say yes. Well, why not? I just did. 🙂
P.S. for my matches who tried to contact me, I’m sorry but I gave you a wrong number. Maybe you can find a way to reach me if you want that date 😉 Keep in touch! Peace!