“Have I seen love, or am I blind to notice? Can I really see it through his eyes?”
“Oh, you’ll see it! By how he looks at you and smile as you speak.. by how he will focus on your beauty despite your imperfection.. by how he sees a future with you… by how he sheds a tear for you when he has to break your heart.”
I was silenced after wisdom has spoken. The reason I asked was because I doubted. Doubted if ever I’ve seen love, like how she said he would have it revealed to me – through his eyes. And it puzzles me how certain situations demand love to break the heart of his beloved, and how surrendering or giving up can be sign of love. I’ve been a student eager to learn her ways but I knew the risk of enabling her to teach me was my own heart. And I was still protective of it.
“You can only be as courageous in relationships as the man in front of you. If you see courage in his eyes, then you will be bold and trusting to take a leap of faith. If you see fear and doubt behind those eyes, he will likewise reap the same. Therefore, he should sow visions of a future spent with love. That’s how he will capture your heart, through your eyes. But he must only plant truthful seeds and never leave a promise which he can’t fulfil.”
Wisdom assured me with these words that I have no need to protect my heart as long as I cling to her. I yearn that she speaks more, and she speaks loud enough for me to hear if I have seen this man whom she is talking about – the man who will open my eyes to see.
There are many things that fascinate me about love. How it is forbearing… How it seeks other’s interest and makes you unselfish…How it can keep you up even after your bedtime.. Listening to the person, or thinking if the other person is well…. How it makes it easier for you to write poems, or sing a song… How it encourages you to take care of yourself.. so that you can love more…. And these are only few.
I posted this as my facebook status last November 12, and a friend stirred up my creativity and curiosity shortly. I then received a thread of poetries as comments which was a follow up to my conversation with wisdom.
“So when will you find the man who will fascinate you?”
“The question should be when he will find me.”
“When will you stop hiding from him?”
“When he’s no longer blind to see.”
“Then give him sight beyond sight.”
“Before any man is given his sight, he shall be asked if he wants to see. Faith is not for me to give. He should want it for himself.”
The very words I answered my friend were the most I needed. I am both the blinded man and the hiding woman in the story. I was seeking for enlightenment of another, yet it was me who needed to step out into the light.
I encountered another post from David Bonifacio’s blog from the same week I was meditating about love, and how it is seen. He says: “I guess that’s how you know you really love someone, when their flourishing takes precedence over your happiness.” Maybe love is about giving up your interest, I thought. But I strongly believe that being filled with love yourself will be the only way you can do that!
The guy, nor myself, is not the source that will fill that empty tank; for no man has that capacity to give. Faith, and light to see a love that fills, only comes when we are open to hear from His voice. When I’m seated by the feet of my Saviour, He always reminds me to see myself through His eyes. I then experience the real joy of a beloved – loved unconditionally, considered as His child, pure and unblemished through His sacrifice. Whenever I look to Him, I find peace. I find the courage to love another as He gives me security that in Him, I am whole.
“Will you let him see Your love when I look at him? Even without me saying a word…”
I turned again to wisdom, and asked her my question.
She just smiled, and remained silent. I didn’t have to ask why because I felt what the reason was – For once, I wasn’t thinking of myself!
There are many things that fascinate me about love. How it is forbearing… How it seeks other’s interest and makes you unselfish…How it can keep you up even after your bedtime… How it makes it easier for you to write poems, or sing a song… How it encourages you to take care of yourself.. so that you can love more…. And these are only few. But what fascinates me the most is how I can see love through His eyes.
And yes, I have seen it.