Train of Thought: The Last Five Years

The first time I heard Jason Robert Brown’s songs was when I watched Nine Work Theatrical’s The Last Five Years starring Nikki Gil and Joaquin Valdes. It was a week ago when my friend Berline asked me to see the show at RCBC Plaza. I admit I got hooked, the songs and the scenes are still on my mind.

l couldn’t move on and thus decided to write the thoughts echoing in my head. I will be writing a series of blog posts featuring the musical’s songs. Maybe this serves as a therapy for me to release the mixed emotions I experienced from the play. And yes, I have gone through a break-up and can relate with the story.

Let me warn you first that this may seem a bit melancholic.  If you decide to read on my train of thoughts, thank you.  I appreciate your insights, and would love to see your comments about this post.

Let’s start at the beginning. This should be on your list of heart break songs: Cathy Hyatt’s I’m Still Hurting.

im still hurting

 Jamie is over and Jamie is gone.

Jamie’s decided it’s time to move on.
Jamie has new dreams he’s building upon,
And I’m still hurting.

How can two people who started a dream together suddenly realize that new dreams are formed, and at one point acknowledge the need to go separate ways? It made me think, should your common dream be the goal? Or should it be living with the person you love?

Change is constant. And even in relationships, even if you start walking towards a common destination with your beloved, there will be a sudden shift. One day, a vision marked a long time in your heart will just clearly draw itself on your head.  What will you do?

Jamie’s dream was to be a well-known writer.  For Cathy, to be a famous actress.  Despite the different pacing of their individual career race, they chose to be with each other. They believed in each other. They agreed that both of them inspire one another to pursue their goals.

But in the middle of the journey, these goals became the wall between them.  Jamie exclaims “I will not fall just because you couldn’t win.”

Jamie arrived at the end of the line.
Jamie’s convinced that the problems are mine.
Jamie is probably feeling just fine,
And I’m still hurting.

Jamie left leaving his wife with only a letter.  Cathy wasn’t given a chance to explain things and make them right.

Are relationship problems just one sided?  I don’t agree.  It takes two people to work it out, and the one left behind shouldn’t entertain the thought that it’s all her fault.

Jamie is sure something wonderful died.
Jamie decides it’s his right to decide.
Jamie has secrets he doesn’t confide,
And I’m still hurting.

In an ideal world, parting ways should be the decision of the two. If there is still love, or even a little respect left, the issues in the relationship should be dealt with transparency.  There may still be possible solutions to the problems they face than giving up on the relationship.One couldn’t just let go and leave behind the other without explaining the reason.

Jamie, perhaps like many other men, may find it hard to express how they feel.  It may be fear of rejection, our showing themselves as vulnerable.  But if you are to unfold your emotions or mistakes with someone you love, shouldn’t it be easier to trust and take courage?

Go and hide and run away!

Run away,
Run and find something better!
Go and ride the sun away!
Run away, like it’s simple,
Like it’s right…

Give me a day, Jamie!
Bring back the lies,
Hang them back on the wall!
Maybe I’d see
How you could be
So certain that we
Had no chance at all

It’s never easy to run away from relationship, and forget about the person you love.  But who can say if it’s wrong or right?  Only time can tell.

In life, we always seek for something better – even if we thought we found the best.  Life is a constant search, and unless your heart is filled you will only thirst for love.  There is no perfect man, no perfect woman, no perfect relationships.

Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn?
Maybe there’s somewhere a lesson to learn,
But that wouldn’t change the fact,
That wouldn’t speed the time,
Once the foundation’s cracked
And I’m
Still Hurting.

All that’s left are lessons to learn – precious, though holding them hurts.

better

 

Note: The Last Five Years is still showing until August 31, 2014.

Visit http://www.9workstheatrical.com/

 

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