Grown-up Christmas Wish

When we were children, we get so excited with surprise gifts that await us.  As we grow older, we become more specific. We know ahead what we would like to have and wish that someone will just give it to us.  Sometimes we find it best to just buy that thing for ourselves than wait.

***

I figured out as an adult that a way I could get items I want to receive as Christmas gifts is to name these out in the open.  One day I thought of things that I like to have, and posted  them on facebook.  As expected, two office colleagues picked up the information.  I have myself a planner, and my new colorful gel pens (for my art projects) are on its way.

planner

I’m sharing here a secret.  The planner I received was different than how I imagined it to be. I wanted a business planner similar to what I was using last year. I received this colorful lifestyle planner that comes with a privilege card with access to retail stores and restaurants instead.

Not bad, right? However, a part of me wanted to go back in time and attach a photo of my previous planner along with my Christmas wish list. The item I just received was not what I needed. It is the same item but with a different specification.  Maybe I should have been more descriptive with my request.

But a gift  is meant to be enjoyed and should come as a surprise.  Exchanging gifts are for the inner child in us and our cynical adult selves should be put aside. 

Maybe the giver thought of me as fashionable, adventurous, and someone who loves perks hence this is what he picked from the bookstore. I’m grateful because it’s given freely, and well considered.I can now say, “thank you and I love the gift”. Sincerely.

***

Sometimes as grown ups, we develop a clear vision or idea of what we want to have and achieve.  We work hard and build these dreams.  Often, we can design it up to the standard we set. Then we are fulfilled.

But there are things in life, like our heart’s desires which comes to us in the form of a gift.  We are expectant of it. As adults, we have the means to ask for it. But the Giver will decide and consider what we should receive.

Two years ago, I had a precious relationship with a guy I considered as my best friend.  I have been asking the Lord about being with someone to love for the longest time.  Oh, being in love was a bliss!  But months passed and difficult realities strike.  We both forgot to appreciate that we are a gift to each other.  We realized that the kind of relationship was not the exact way we want it, and we weren’t ready to work things out.

The lessons about commitment, courage, fortitude and love were the real treasures the relationship left me after. I thank God for both gifts.

I’m old enough to admit that what I want this Christmas is beyond the list I posted on facebook (which included make up brushes and a headset by the way).  Come on, who keeps a secret list like me – such as winning Miss Universe, or owning a house, or being with the family and so on? It’s those kinds of BIG THINGS we wanted to have now.

However, more than these,  we should also desire for  deeper knowledge of Jesus. As His beloved, we look forward to unfolding the gifts He wants us to receive.  He knows what’s best and we should listen to His word, which now becomes our standard (Amen.)

Yes, I am an adult and I pray to Him boldly about what I want. But a real grown up leaves room for the Giver to choose. And so I pray, “Thy will be done.”

Merry Christmas.

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