February starts tomorrow, and I’m starting to feel mushy. Okay, maybe just a little. So would you indulge me with the pleasure of writing about love? It’s still my favorite topic. And since you’re reading along, I’ll make sure you’ll get something out of this.
Love involves pain (darn, I have to go straight to the point right away) and you can’t get away with it. Love is messy, sometimes nauseating. It’s been sugar-coated with romance but has a taste of bitterness at its core. Love cuts and breaks, and what’s crazy is that you look for it to keep you whole.
It can get ugly sometimes and leave you bleeding. Despite the truth about love and relationships, do you still want it?
You may say, yes, because I don’t want to grow old alone.
Yes, I still want love. Two people journeying in life together is better than one.
Whatever your reason is, submerging oneself deep in to the dark side of love won’t be of help in pursuing and keeping a relationship. Love is not easy, but it’s worth it.
I’ve learned that building fortitude within your relationships and as individuals is very important in keeping your commitment with your partner (Oh Lord, I’m grateful to learn this while I’m single. Please help me to practice this). Building a strong foundation, and creating dynamics to solidify trust is often missed out by couples. When things are unintentional, they drift through life as individuals until they found themselves in panic mode when trial comes. There are simple things we can do, and when done consistently could lead to a longer and less painful journey.
Has someone told you how loving someone is like taking a roller coaster? You already got a hint that relationships would have ups and downs. So don’t complain or quit when the honeymoon stage is over and you started to have an argument. Love won’t be an easy ride. At the beginning of a relationship, it’s good to set boundaries and talk about what you can and cannot tolerate with your partner. Speak about simple actions that are important for you to feel loved (I feel loved when you seek to talk to me at the end of the day). Knowing expectation encourages the right mindset and attitude in any situation.
2.Be in the moment.
Both good times and bad do not last, so be in the moment as much as you can. Love revels itself when two people are free from worries while being with each other. During times of pleasure, be truly happy and intentional to express your feelings and receive affection. Whenever you have misunderstandings, learn about yourself and how the other person responds.
3. Agree to listen to each other patiently before you react.
Most of the pain in loving are brought by words. Do not stir up anger in your thoughts until you validate the other person’s side of the story. Talk about the source of argument, and do not bring up other disappointing situations to the table. Adjust your reaction based on your knowledge of each other’s values and language.
4. Identify people you can share your lives with.
Do not wait for trials to happen before you wonder who you can approach for a helping hand or shoulder to cry on. Have good relationships with your parents and families, reach out and visit them. Identify friends whom you can share your milestones with. As individuals, do not detach from friendships which help you grow. You may ask for prayer support or advice from others when you need to, but be careful about slandering your partner. Share your stories in such a way that you honor and respect each other.
5. Pray for one another.
Aside from common hobbies or interest, your desire to grow your relationship with God should be a common denominator for you and your partner. Pray for each other, to keep your hearts tender and forgiving towards one another. Ask for opportunities to serve and encourage the other person. Seek overflowing grace and wisdom because nurturing love requires your emotions, physical energy and time.
The task of remaining to love in difficult times is a path that we often did not choose. We create moments that make us feel romantic, but circumstances would force us to confront one another and challenge growth. This is when you remember fortitude, and display a loving character which endures.
There are two things you can do during instances when arguments arise, directions oppose and opinions clash. You can stay, or you can leave a relationship depending on the situation. Still, both decisions require that you endure the pain that comes with it. Hence, stay strong as a person in holding on and letting go. Whatever you decide, do it out of love.